We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
