I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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