apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
