So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
