so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
