mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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