bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
