That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
