How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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