I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
