i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
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Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
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My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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