I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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