if i can run in heels then i can drive
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
