what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
