What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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