She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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