Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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