there was a trapeze. enough said
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Randomize
