you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
