I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
