I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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