I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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