Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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