My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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