My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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