Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
