I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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