I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
