"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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