I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
