I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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