sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?