Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am