just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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