Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...