I must be too annoying 4 u.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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