i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
