i don't like sucking hair
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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