you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I want her autograph on my taint
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
