Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
