Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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