if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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