So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
