jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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