were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
