nutella sex= disaster
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
