I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
