okay pat passed out under dana's car
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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