Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
