You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
