I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
