Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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