Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
