I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
