return my video game
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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