Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Couch. On fire.
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