Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
