Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
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Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
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Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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