"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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