I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Randomize
