did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
