windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
