You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
