I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
